The Shameless Bad Ficlet
by Darth Stitch
Summary: Set in the universe of the “As You Wish” Outtakes – Arthur James Potter-Snape inherits Daddy Harry’s knack for trouble and then some. Yet another time-travel story. SLASH. HPSS
1. Default Chapter

  
**The Shameless Bad Fic**  
The First of Two Parts  
_In Which Darth Stitch Messes Around With A Lot of Fanfic Cliches_

by Darth Stitch a.k.a. Jedi Skysong

**DISCLAIMER:  **Arthur and the rest of the Potter-Snape brood are the only ones who happen to be mine.  Heh.  JK Rowling (bless her and may she NEVER encounter this) owns the rest.  Am just playing in her sandbox, will return all the toys nice and clean when I'm done. 

**SUMMARY:  **Set in the universe of the "As You Wish" Outtakes – Arthur James Potter-Snape inherits Daddy Harry's knack for trouble and then some.  Yet another time-travel story. SLASH.  HP/SS

**NOTES:  **You might like reading "Snapercup's Baby:  The As You Wish Outtakes" before reading this story, so you know what you're getting into.  That would be listed in my ff.net profile.  For those who are wondering, never fear, "As You Wish" will definitely be continued.  Am working on it, actually.  Consider this a cookie break.  Mweh.  

**DEDICATION:  **To Frances, who loves Arthur and all the Insane Aunts who love the kids.  

**ONE LAST THING:  **Yes, this is slash.  Yes, Harry and Snape are in love in my universe and are currently suffering a bad case of UST.  Yes, Harry is seventeen and above the age of consent.  Yes, there shall be much fluff and silliness in this tale.  Yes, if you haven't been reading the other stories, MPREG is implied in here.  And yes, if this squicks you, you may go forth and spare yourself unwanted mental images.  

  
***  
  
At four years old, Arthur James Potter-Snape definitely had his own opinions.  
  
And he was rather vocal about it. Of course, any four year old who can call a rude seventh year Gryffindor "a mannerless cretin!" in clear, precise tones would be considered "unusually eloquent." At least, that was how Professor McGonagall had put it.  
  
Arthur's Daddy barely kept the smirk off his face as he said, "Takes after his Papa, doesn't he?"  
  
And Arthur's Papa looked rather smug about the whole business.  
  
Of course, Arthur was a very polite and well-behaved little person (more or less) and would not have insulted the Gryffindor's intelligence had he not been taunting Arthur's beloved older sister Katerina in the first place. As the only boy among his siblings, Arthur took the duty of defending his sisters from prats like that one very seriously. Which was why his parents and Professor McGonagall did not scold the little boy overmuch (it was more of a gentle reprimand) for that incident. Plus, Professor McGonagall was very angry at the seventh year for showing such poor behavior to a first year housemate and took a lot of points off for that.   
  
Also, Arthur pretty much liked having everything and everyone set in its place. He was neater than his sisters and was the one who usually put his books and toys away in the right shelves and boxes. That was something his Papa taught him, as a good Potions Master must always be organized about his ingredients and things.  
  
After breakfast, his mornings were spent with Daddy and his other sister Waverly. They would sit at a table with their crayons and coloring books or play quietly while Daddy marked off students' papers and prepared his lesson plans. After lunch, they would be with Papa and Arthur liked to watch him prepare his potions. Papa didn't mind having Arthur there as long as he was quiet. Waverly preferred to sit in a corner and play with her toy animals.   
  
And in the evenings, Katerina would be home from primary school and they would all be together. Sometimes, Katerina would take him and Waverly and they would all be together in her room and he'd beg her for a story or two. Katerina told a lot of neat stories. Arthur's favorite was the one that had the Dread Pirate Roberts in it.  
  
The trouble was, things started to change when Katerina was finally old enough to go to Hogwarts.  
  
Katerina was sorted into Gryffindor, which shocked Daddy and amused Papa to no end. And then Arthur's routine changed. Katerina didn't spend as much time with him and Waverly anymore. She had to go sleep in the Gryffindor dormitory, instead of being with them in Daddy and Papa's Hogwarts apartments. And Katerina was so very busy with studying and Quidditch games that he only got to see his beloved big sister on the weekends.   
  
Katerina told him not to worry as they would all go back home to their house and they would be together again during the summer. But Arthur knew it wasn't the same. And so, he was rather grouchy about the whole business and whenever Katerina came to visit, he scowled and ignored her the whole time.  
  
Arthur also took to running away and hiding from his sisters, which worried Katerina and annoyed Waverly. Daddy worried as well but Papa told him that Arthur would sort himself out in the end.  
  
"He would take after me in that as well, love," Papa said ruefully. "He doesn't like changes. But he'll get used to that. Eventually."  
  
It was on one of those occasions that Arthur found himself wandering in a part of the Castle he had never been in before. He'd been gone for quite a long time now. He knew Katerina would be frantic and probably would have gone straight to Daddy or Papa for help. He'd probably be in a LOT of trouble by the time he was found. He didn't care.   
  
He found himself standing in front of a rather odd-looking door. The door was framed in the mouth of an enormous snake. And the snake's green eyes seemed to be alive and looking straight at him.  
  
And then, Arthur heard this soft voice, hissing, it seemed, in his ear. "Greetings, little one. It has been a long time since a child of Salazar and Godric's has come to visit me."  
  
The voice apparently came from the snake. Well, Arthur didn't mind snakes. He and his sisters often talked to the ones Papa kept for his potions. Even the poisonous ones were rather agreeable creatures, especially once Daddy had finished talking to them. The snakes all rather liked Daddy as well although they often complained that Papa was too grouchy.  
  
Well, Arthur was taught manners by his parents so he greeted the Snake politely and then asked, "What's behind the door? May I come in?"  
  
"Of course," the Snake answered. "Be careful, though. This was the workroom of Salazar Slytherin. He has kept many things here... many things of great power."  
  
The door swung open and Arthur stepped inside.  
  
The Snake definitely wasn't kidding. The room was piled with books and bottles filled with potions of various colors. There was a round shiny black ball resting on top of a cushion. A basilisk skeleton was embedded in the uppermost part of the walls, winding its way around the room. There were other things there that Arthur couldn't identify but was sure that Daddy and Papa would know about. And finally, there was a great mirror, set right in the middle of the room.   
  
Arthur was reminded of the Mirror of Erised, which Daddy had told him about. Maybe they had put the Mirror here for safekeeping. Curious, the little boy approached the mirror, wondering what he would see.  
  
He saw his Daddy.  
  
Startled, Arthur reached out to touch the Mirror's surface. "Daddy?"  
  
It was like touching water. His small fingers went through the Mirror and before he could cry out, he was sucked in.  
  
And everything went dark.  
  
***   
  
When Arthur came to, he felt that he was being held by a familiar pair of arms. Reassured, he opened his eyes and looked up into a much-loved face, wearing a just as familiar worried expression.   
  
"Are you all right?"  
  
Arthur threw his arms around his father's neck and buried his face in that comfortable shoulder. "DADDY! I'm so sorry, I was hiding from Katerina and I was being a prat and please don't be mad at me, I'm sorry sorry sorry!"  
  
"Er... what?"  
  
Oh no, Daddy must really be mad. Arthur tried very hard not to cry. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I won't do it again. I promise, really!"  
  
"Er... um, sorry, but who are you? And why on earth are you calling me 'Daddy'?!"  
  
Arthur blinked. And drew away and looked carefully at the confused, bewildered young man he knew was his father.  
  
The confused, bewildered young man who was wearing the uniform of a Hogwarts student and not the usual robes and suit that Daddy wore while he was teaching.  
  
"You're not my Daddy," Arthur stated.  
  
The young man looked relieved. "Oh good. Because I was wondering when the bloody hell (excuse me, you didn't hear that) -er, when did I became a father without knowing about it?"  
  
"Um. I think that you're not my Daddy... yet," Arthur said then. Wow. This sounded like one of Katerina's stories.  
  
"WHAT?!!!!"  
  
- To Be Concluded in Part Two -


	2. In Which Arthur's Awfully Odd Adventure ...

**DEDICATION: **To **Snapetoy** on her birthday!

Again, this could not have been done without the wonderful beta by Frances (vileseagulls)

And it's official – this is now a Shameless Bad FIC. Hee!

**Part II **  
  
Harry never expected his life to be entirely normal.   
  
Hell, after seven years of dodging maniacal Dark Lords, Death Eaters, giant snakes, dragons and sundry other monsters, Harry was resigned to a life that was, in a masterpiece of understatement, _interesting._ Of course, now that he had finally defeated the Dark Lord (which he would never have managed without the training he'd received from Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape, not to mention the fact that Snape damn near lost his life trying to save Harry during that Final Battle on Halloween) – Harry was at least looking forward to seeing the remainder of his seventh year at Hogwarts with a little less excitement.   
  
Normal, not bloody likely. He was a realistic person – he would settle for a little less of the madness that was practically a staple of his life now. Just a little sanity, for Merlin's sake.   
  
Damn it, he had NEWTs to study for!  
  
But now, here was this   
  
(precious, adorable)  
  
little boy with unmistakably familiar green eyes  
  
(although that's not my nose… even if does look awfully _familiar…_)  
  
who was claiming to be _his_ son. Of course, Harry knew there was no way he'd knocked up some girl at the tender age of thirteen – which, given the kid's age, was how old Harry had to be in order for that to happen. Bloody hell, he was just beginning to notice Cho Chang then and was completely clueless about sex - not that he had a lot of time to think about that, with all the major fuck-ups going on in his life.  
  
Then again, the kid was claiming to be from the future - all right, like THAT made any more sense. Wait a minute…  
  
"Were you playing with a Time Turner when you shouldn't have?" Harry asked the distraught little boy.  
  
The kid scowled (again, Harry felt a strange sense of deja vu here). "No." His shoulders slumped. "But I was hiding from my big sister when I wasn't supposed to."  
  
"Big... SISTER?! Bloody hell, how many kids do I have?!" Harry was panicking... because his thoughts were wandering over to one redheaded Ginny Weasley, who still had a bit of a crush on him even after all this time.  
  
Arthur slapped two small hands over his mouth. "Bloody hell - I wasn't supposed to say that!"  
  
"Don't say 'bloody' - you're too young to swear," Harry corrected automatically.   
  
"Heard it from you," Arthur said mutinously.  
  
"I'm a bad example," Harry shot back.  
  
"If I say too much, I might cause a... um, parabox?" Arthur stumbled over the word.  
  
"Paradox?"  
  
"That's the word. Papa always tells me to look new words up in the dictionary."  
  
_Aha!_ "I thought you called me 'Daddy?' Although I'm glad to hear I'm being a responsible parent." Harry mumbled that last.  
  
Arthur glared (and again, that glare was oddly familiar!). "No, silly Daddy. I have you and I have Papa. We don't have a Mummy - Katerina says you two are all we need and she's right."  
  
Harry was oddly relieved to hear that Ginny Weasley was not the future mother of his children. He liked her fine but eww... it would be like marrying his little sister. Besides, his affections were - fortunately or unfortunately - settled on someone of the male persuasion. So if he was to believe the kid, he was married to "Papa" (oh let it be who Harry wanted him to be!) and the little boy could be... adopted? With those green eyes, wait - surrogate?  
  
Harry was starting to get a headache from all this and he still didn't have the facts straight. "Wait... let's just back up for a bit. So you're from the future."  
  
An emphatic nod.  
  
"How exactly did you get here again?"  
  
The kid frowned. "Um. I found this room and this giant stone snake let me in. And I saw all sorts of neat stuff you and Papa would like and then there was this mirror. I saw you in the mirror and I touched it and everything went black and I woke up here. And then, I was so glad to see you, Daddy, only you're not Daddy yet and I think I want my big sister and you as my Daddy now and I want to go home!" At that point, the child finally gave way to his upset and fright and cried.  
  
Harry felt his heart clench at the sight of the frightened, upset little boy and so, moving almost by instinct, he gathered the child into his arms. The boy immediately burrowed into his shoulder, still sobbing.  
  
"Here now, it'll be all right, there's a brave little boy," Harry soothed, thinking back to the way Dumbledore and even Arthur Weasley acted with the first years and the other children who were brought to Hogwarts during the worst times of the war. "Let's go to the Headmaster and see what he can do, hmm?"  
  
A sniffle.  
  
Harry gently bounced him in his arms. "And you haven't even told me your name. Just for, er... future reference, what did I name you?"  
  
That got the boy out of his hiding place and Harry found himself almost getting lost in those big green eyes.  
  
"My name is Arthur," the little boy said, with an almost shy tone in his voice. "Arthur James. Um. I can't tell you all my last names though. I have your last name and Papa's together."  
  
"I really wish you could tell me who your Papa is. Can't you even give me a tiny clue?"   
  
Arthur smirked. "No. You'll have to figure it out - Papa does say you've got 'some brains' after all. 'Course, I think you are smart - Papa's just being snarky."  
  
"Thanks much," Harry said dryly. "Let's go see Professor Dumbledore now, shall we?"  
  
Dumbledore was acting really oddly by the time Harry and Arthur finished their tale of woe. If Harry didn't know better, the old coot (he'd picked up the habit after hanging around Snape for so long) looked like he was valiantly suppressing the urge to burst out laughing. He had turned quite an interesting shade of purple before he finally managed to calm down a little. And he was twinkling rather mischievously, which gave Harry the cold chills of dread and doom.   
  
The Headmaster proceeded to tell them that Arthur must have inadvertently stumbled on the long-lost workroom of Salazar Slytherin. It just HAD to be Salazar Slytherin, Harry thought with a mental groan. It couldn't be anyone else, after all - what with the Chamber of Secrets and the rest.   
  
The trouble was that particular workroom was rather... "moveable." Like the Room of Requirement, Slytherin's Workroom had a mind of its own and was never in the same place it was the last time. Dumbledore was going to have to look for that Workroom and it was going to take him some time. And since Arthur was quite unwilling to be parted from his future "Daddy" - Harry was going to have to look after Arthur while he was here. They just needed to make up a good cover story - one that wouldn't land Harry with yet another screaming headline in the Daily Prophet.   
  
Dumbledore did ask Harry the obvious question about the state of Harry's romantic life, which Harry honestly answered was non-existent, through his rather heated blush. Well, it WAS non-existent - unless you counted the fact that Harry was currently suffering a Bad Case of Unrequited Love and would rather not talk about THAT and the unsuspecting object of his affections with his Headmaster. Besides, Harry was fairly sure that said case of Unrequited Love was breaking just about ten thousand school rules and was sure to get the poor bastard he was in love with in Very Deep Shite.   
  
Dumbledore looked very much relieved at Harry's answer and cheerfully sent him and Arthur back to Gryffindor Tower to wait things out. Harry was quite happy to do that and Arthur was equally happy to be in his future Daddy's arms again for the trip there - he was such an affectionate kid, it was very sweet. Harry figured that the two of them could stay out of trouble there without too much bother.   
  
Of course, Harry was being overly optimistic again.   
  
Honestly, how much trouble could one get into coming from the Headmaster's Office and going back up to Gryffindor Tower?  
  
Obviously, Harry forgot about his infamous luck when it came to such things.   
  
Because of course, who should Harry and Arthur encounter in the hallway but the Object of Harry's Rather Pathetic Unrequited Love.  
  
Professor Severus Snape.   
  
- end part II -   
  
A/N: I was being optimistic when I said The Shameless Bad Ficlet was going to be finished in two parts. Drat. This MPREG Plot Tigger turned into a monster on me! Oh well...on to part III!


	3. Ooops!

**The Shameless Bad Ficlet  
Part III**  
  
Damn, he looked _good._  
  
So maybe that wasn't something most people would think about Severus "That greasy git!" Snape. There he was, looking perfectly austere in his usual black robes   
  
(god, he's sexy in black),   
  
very prim, proper and all buttoned up  
  
(mmmm, bet it would be fun to undo all those buttons)   
  
and miracle of miracles, it seemed that he'd taken a comb and shampoo to his normally greasy hair. It looked soft and shiny for once and Harry really wanted to run his hands through it, never mind if he was going to get expelled and lose ten thousand House points for the sheer insanity of that impulse. But of course, he had his hands full with Arthur and Harry was thankful that he'd finally learned how to keep his facial expressions schooled to careful blankness, not to mention mastering Occlumency to conceal his rather...."interesting" thoughts.  
  
So he managed to keep himself from staring like a moonstruck idiot at the Man He Was Hopelessly In Love With.   
  
"Dear Merlin, Potter, please tell me that you have not decided to spawn already and raise a new generation of Potters to make my life miserable," Snape remarked. "I might just submit my resignation to the Headmaster yet."  
  
"Oi!" Harry spluttered, slipping easily into the routine that they had developed after they'd managed to put behind the animosity between them. It was fairly simple - Snape always got the first snark in, Harry got flustered, tried his damnedest to snark back ("try" was the operative word here) and they'd take it from there. The Headmaster considered them both a "great source of entertainment." Hermione and Ginny considered them both a "classic case of serious UST" and when a clueless Ron and Harry asked the girls what they meant, the aforementioned ladies had a grand time seeing the boys turn interesting shades of red and purple.   
  
Unresolved Sexual Tension indeed.   
  
"Well, with those eyes," Snape said, looking carefully at a rather wide-eyed Arthur. "And he does look very much like you, doesn't he?"   
  
_With THAT nose? Are you joking?_ was what Harry really wanted to say. Arthur looked more like...  
  
More like....  
  
_Wait a bloody minute!_  
  
Arthur made a soft "meep!" sound as Snape drew closer and the Potions Master's dark eyes softened and so did his voice. Despite his fearsome reputation with the students, Snape didn't go around scaring small children. In fact, the little ones who were brought to Hogwarts for refuge quite liked the "grouchy professor" who helped "Mam Pomfey" give them their medicines and potions.   
  
"Aren't you going to introduce us, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, the edge leaving his voice for a bit. "Or have your manners left you entirely?"  
  
"I'm Arthur," answered the little boy, who gave him a brief, if shy smile and then proceeded to bury his face in Harry's neck.   
  
"And he's one of the Headmaster's grandchildren," Harry said then, finally finding his wits. "He asked me to keep an eye on the little one for a bit."  
  
"Dear me, let us hope the Headmaster doesn't regret entrusting you with the responsibility."  
  
"We were about to go over to the Gryffindor Common Room and keep ourselves out of trouble," Harry shot back. "Does that satisfy, sir?"   
  
"Five points from Gryffindor for impertinence." Snape smirked.   
  
There were days when Harry couldn't decide whether he wanted to hex or snog the man. Hexing seemed like a very good idea right now.  
  
"Oh for god's sake, are you still getting off on that points game?" Harry told him, exasperated. "I thought we gave that up ages ago."  
  
"We still happen to be in school, Mr. Potter. And I am still your teacher."  
  
"Only for about 90 more days though," Harry countered.  
  
"Counting them off, are you?" Snape drawled silkily.  
  
"Every blessed minute." _And not for the reasons you're thinking either. Oh, Merlin, I did NOT just think that._ All right, so snogging seemed to be gaining the upper hand here – damn that honey-dark voice that went straight to certain places in his body that he'd really rather not think about as of the moment.  
  
"Believe me, I'm looking forward to the blessed day myself. If only to get a little peace and quiet in my remaining years."  
  
"You're not exactly ready for the Elderly Wizards' Home yet, Professor," Harry said wryly. Definitely not that old… not with that arse on him. Who knew he had _that_ under all those robes?  
  
"Flattery will not get you those house points back," Snape smirked.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Like I was actually expecting it?"  
  
Arthur whispered urgently, "Papa doesn't live in the Elderly Wizards' Home. He lives with us in our house!"  
  
Harry nearly dropped Arthur then and there. "Papa?!" he said incredulously.  
  
Snape stepped forward in concern, "Potter, are you all right?"  
  
Arthur had the grace to look sheepish. "Ooops?"  
  
"He absolutely can NOT be your father!" Harry said heatedly. _I will not blush. I will NOT BLOODY blush!_  
  
"Other father," Arthur corrected. "He's Papa and you're Daddy." And then, the child added with a very Snape-like arch to his eyebrow, "Besides, you married him!"  
  
"What in blazes is going on around here?!" Snape demanded.   
  
Harry was actually wishing for Voldemort to come back. For Lucius Malfoy to escape from Azkaban, even. Anything to get him out of this.  
  
He waited.  
  
No such luck.  
  
"I was telling him about my Papa," Arthur said calmly. "I think I just surprised him, is all."  
  
_My son the Slytherin,_ Harry thought dazedly.   
  
"Who happens to be married to Mr. Potter?" Snape inquired with the same eyebrow arch. Good grief, how could he miss THAT? Harry thought, looking from the child to the older version standing right in front of him.  
  
And, oh yeah: "I'm not married!" Harry protested.  
  
"I was joking," Arthur said in turn.  
  
"Yes, he was joking. So, if you'd excuse me, Professor, I really must go. I have to put him down for a nap." Harry was babbling and he didn't care. He HAD to get out of there.  
  
"Yes, I get cranky if I don't have a nap," Arthur put in helpfully.  
  
"Yes, yes, he's right...very cranky. Not a good thing for a little chap like him. So off we go, bye, Professor, see you later, love."  
  
And Harry walked, no, RAN as fast as he could in the general direction of Gryffindor Tower. If he'd bothered to look back, he might have had the pleasure of seeing a completely flabbergasted Severus Snape.   
  
"Love?!" Snape said incredulously.  
  
And then, Severus Snape, for some reason, blushed.  
  
-tbc-


	4. Arthur Takes a Nap

**The Shameless Bad Fic**  
(okay, the Spectacularly Entertaining Ficlet – so ordered by **aliciamasters** - giggles )  
  
**Part IV**  
  
"Daddy," Arthur said softly as Harry ran up the stairs leading to the Gryffindor common room. "Your face is all….pink."  
  
"Very observant of you," Harry growled.  
  
Arthur looked at him uncertainly. "Are you mad at me, Daddy?"  
  
Looking at those big green eyes, so very much like his own… Harry pretty much melted. So he knew he'd tried that wide-eyed innocent look on occasion; it was just disconcerting to see it on a miniature version of _Snape__._  
  
Snape. Oh yeah. Arthur's Papa. Or so he claimed. Except that the kid had Harry's eyes and the last time Harry checked, he definitely didn't have a working honest-to-God womb. He didn't know about Snape though – although the mental image of a pregnant Snape was not as hilariously ludicrous as it seemed at first glance.   
  
Actually, it seemed like a very attractive prospect. Harry mentally smacked down that thought, wrestled it into submission and shoved it into a very deep dark part of his mind. He was still a student; Snape was still his teacher. For all the new-found respect and tentative friendship that they'd forged over the course of the war with Voldemort, Harry knew that romance with one Harry Potter was the furthest thing from Snape's mind. So that nice little dream of settling down with Severus Snape with two? three? children was Not. Likely. To. Happen.   
  
And yet, here was this little boy from the future, who definitely looked very much like Harry and Snape's son, looking at him with Harry's Patented Innocent Look. The combination was devastating – Harry bet anything that his future self had to really work at it to keep from spoiling the little boy rotten.   
  
God help him.   
  
Harry sighed. "No, I'm not mad at you. I'm just… " Feeling as if he'd been hit in the back of the head by a board? Embarrassed enough to want the earth to open up and swallow him?   
  
Arthur wrinkled his nose. "You just look the same way you do whenever Papa's been kissing you. Ew."  
  
Now THAT particular mental image was enough to make Harry stop in the middle of the stairs and clutch at the railing because he was going weak at the knees. "Kissing…er….WHAT?!" Oh, that was coherent, it really was.   
  
Arthur sighed. "You ALWAYS turn pink when Papa's been kissing you."   
  
Harry gently leaned his head against Arthur's little shoulder. "Bloody hell."   
  
"Don't worry," Arthur said, patting his future father's head. "You'll get to the kissing parts… eventually."  
  
Fortunately, Daddy wasn't _too_ pink by the time they entered the Gryffindor common room. Arthur's sisters Katerina and Waverly always giggled when they saw Daddy turn that color, saying that it was cute. Arthur sympathized with his poor father and often asked Papa why he found it necessary to do that to Daddy. Papa mumbled something incoherent in his teacup, although Arthur clearly heard the word "adorable" and definitely spotted the faint blush coloring Papa's cheeks.   
  
Parents. Who could understand them? Arthur thought to himself.   
  
Daddy, no, _Harry_ had asked Arthur to call him by his first name for the time being. It was a little weird because Daddy had never been anything but Daddy to Arthur but he understood why. Bad enough that Arthur nearly gave the game away to Papa.  
  
Arthur had a feeling that Papa wasn't going to take this whole thing as well as Daddy - er, _Harry_ was taking it now.  
  
Everyone in the room stared when Harry walked in with Arthur in tow. Arthur had wanted to run up the last few steps and say the password to the Fat Lady's portrait, which amused her to no end. Besides, Harry was already getting tired from carrying Arthur around.   
  
Arthur had slipped his hand in Harry's and they entered the common room together. Arthur didn't appreciate the staring and though he wanted Harry to pick him up again, he decided to have it out and glared at the rest of the Gryffindors.   
  
Hey, he _really_ needed that nap.   
  
Harry led him to a quieter, more secluded corner of the room and that was when Arthur was startled by this exclamation:  
  
"Bloody hell, who is that? The spawn of Snape?!"   
  
Arthur scowled. Well, it just HAD to be Uncle Ron, after all. The little boy stole a peek up at his father's face.   
  
Uh-oh. Harry looked very much the way he looked every time Uncle Draco and Aunt Ginny came to visit. Like he wanted to hex someone silly. That someone would be Uncle Draco because Harry liked Aunt Ginny, who he said was a "bloody good influence on the annoying little ferret."   
  
Right now, it looked like Uncle Ron would be on the receiving end of that hex, though.   
  
"Ron," said Arthur's future Aunt Hermione reprovingly. She bent down to Arthur's level and smiled at him encouragingly. "Hullo there. What's your name?"  
  
Arthur smiled shyly at her and clung to Harry's leg. "I'm Arthur."  
  
"And he's not," Harry said dryly, "the spawn of Snape."  
  
"He's got your eyes though, mate," Uncle Ron said cheerfully. "He could be your kid as well as Snape's."  
  
"Oh, honestly!" Aunt Hermione said, clearly exasperated. "You're being such a prat!"  
  
Daddy – (Harry, Arthur repeated mentally, Harry!) - gritted his teeth and led Arthur over to the nearest couch where they settled comfortably. Arthur cuddled automatically next to Harry and yawned. He really was sleepy and even now, Daddy made an excellent pillow. The fact that Harry had automatically placed an arm around him made him feel even more comfortable.   
  
"Aww... " Aunt Hermione said. "He looks like he needs a nap."  
  
"M'cranky if I don't get one," Arthur murmured.   
  
"Go to sleep, then," Harry told him.   
  
"And he really seems to like you," Uncle Ron remarked.   
  
"We hit it off first thing," Harry said wryly. "Anyway, he's one of the Headmaster's grandchildren. Dumbledore asked me to keep an eye on him for a while. So - " Harry spread his hands. " - he's not my lovechild with Professor Snape."  
  
Arthur tried not to giggle.  
  
"Who's your lovechild with Professor Snape?" Aunt Ginny bounced in and took a peek at Arthur. "Aww... is this him? He's so cute!" She waggled a finger at Harry. "How'd you keep this little cutie hidden from the rest of us all this time?"  
  
"He's not our lovechild!" Harry moaned.  
  
"Those eyes? That nose? Could we miss it?" Aunt Ginny reached out and gently tapped that nose with a finger. She giggled when Arthur wrinkled his nose and scowled. "Look at that scowl. It's the patented Snape Death Glare!"  
  
"Ginny, stop teasing him," Aunt Hermione protested. And then, she grinned. "Although, I do have to agree. "  
  
Harry had buried his face in his hands. "He's Professor Dumbledore's grandson. Honestly!"  
  
Aunt Ginny's grin was wicked. "Aw, come on, Harry..." She lowered her voice and continued, "It's not as if spawning with Professor Snape isn't your dearest wish!"  
  
Uncle Ron choked and turned this interesting shade of green. "Ginny!"  
  
"How could I forget? Harry told us all about it while we were watching _Sense and Sensibility_ and swooning over Alan Rickman's Colonel Brandon," She placed a hand over her forehead and pretended to faint away. "That date and that movie are forever etched in my memory."  
  
"Oh God," Harry choked.  
  
"I'm cool with the whole Harry is gay thing but mate, about this Snape business... honestly, you have weird taste in men!" Uncle Ron said with a shudder.  
  
"He does not!" Aunt Ginny told him heatedly.  
  
"You're the one with the thing for Malfoy. Ew."  
  
Aunt Ginny blushed and glared. "Don't make me hex you, brother dearest."  
  
Aunt Hermione rolled her eyes. "Settle down, children or I might send you up to bed without dinner."  
  
"Thank you, Hermione," said Harry in relief. "Have I ever told you how much I love you lately?"  
  
"Oi, mate, no stealing the girlfriend!" Uncle Ron protested.   
  
"Hmmm, now THAT does seem like an interesting prospect," Aunt Hermione murmured. "How about it, Harry? Feel like going straight for me?"  
  
"HERMIONE!" Ron howled.  
  
Arthur gave way to the giggles then and so did Aunt Hermione.   
  
"Well, quit it with the Snape's lovechild thing then," Harry retorted over their giggles. "Anyway, it's not as if either of us could get pregnant!"  
  
There was a pause.   
  
A very significant pause.   
  
In which Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione and Aunt Ginny all exchanged looks. Arthur noted that adults usually did that, not that he always understood what was going on, but he had never missed those very significant glances.   
  
"Er...guys?" Harry cleared his throat. "You lot are beginning to make me nervous."  
  
"Harry," Aunt Hermione said then. "Didn't you know that there are rare cases where wizards can get pregnant?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Now Arthur was feeling really sleepy and perhaps he couldn't be held responsible for what happened next. "You had Katerina first, Daddy," he mumbled sleepily. "And then Papa had Waverly and then you had me."  
  
And then, he finally succumbed to sleep and murmured, "Love you, Daddy."  
  
Arthur was out for the count, completely oblivious to the loud exchange that followed while he slept.  
  
-TBC-

A/N: Oh dear. The non-existent plot thickens. We're in trouble now! Heh. Again, much thanks and love to Frances for the beta. You might want to refer to the Points of View story (if you haven't already) to find out about what Ginny means with the Sense and Sensibility crack. That tale would be in my profile. Heh.


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